plugging along

Thank you all for your feedback on my dream. Slowly I’m making sketches, thinking about what I ’saw’ and what I can make from it. When it takes more shape, I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, I’m pushing along, trying to finish canal du midi #2 before the end of the month. Do you think I can?

Not much else to say now. My friend Lizzie (recipient of Jaywalkers #2) came for a visit early this week and so I’ve not gotten as much knitting done as I usually do (thus the rush on the second C.d.M). More to post later. But I’ll leave you with this (think of these scenic photograph as something akin to the end of the Sunday Morning program, where they close with a minute of beautiful wilderness) — a view of Kentucky (minus mountain top removal) from Pine Mountain.

Dreaming in Argyle

or a long and [perhaps too] personal post in which jennie misses she who is gone and thinks of ways to knit her back

My best friend in high school died suddenly and unexpectedly about six weeks before graduation. It was my first experience with death and for months afterward I grappled with an extreme of emotions, ranging from depression to anger, guilt to sadness. Night after night, she would appear in my dreams. And because real life is nothing like tv shows or movies (no medium or sixth sense here), rather than ‘listen to what she had to say’ in my dream, I would always start screaming and wake in a start. The dreams were terrifying, despite the fact that nothing ever happened in them. Then, one summer night a little over a year after she died, I had a dream where she appeared and, rather than scream, I sat still and listened. We talked, for what seemed like only minutes. But in those dream minutes, I was able to say everything I wanted to say and never got a chance to – that I wished I’d been a better friend, that I was sorry I hadn’t been home that day, that I loved her and missed her. And she said all the things I guess I needed to believe she might feel, if one can feel beyond life — that she was sorry and that she loved me and missed me too. I woke up feeling peaceful. And, for the past eight years, I haven’t dreamed of her again.

Two weeks ago, I woke with the distinct memory of having ’seen’ my friend. It was a disconcerting feeling that didn’t wear off after coffee and work, and I figured I must have dreamed about her, though i could remember none of the specifics of the dream. and then last night, I dreamed about her agian, but this time I remembered the dream — my friend and I, we didn’t talk. She just appeared, as though walking into a room, and then that was it. But get this — she was knitting. My friend did not knit when she was alive, that I can recall. Her mom did — I remember looking at her knitting basket and seeing a sweater she was making for my friend — it had cables on it and I remember thinking how amazing and miraculous they were — how did she get them to cross? [to this day, whenever I make anything cabled, I think of my friend and her parents, with whom I am no longer in contact].

In my dream, my friend was knitting something argyle. But not a normal argyle… I’ve been trying to draw what I remember from it since this morning, and I think I’ve figured it out. It was primarily navy blue, with blue accents (I remember thinking in my dream that blue against blue was strange, but interesting) with an accent color that I can’t place (yellow? orange? white?). And now I am obsessed with figuring it out and knitting something in honor of my friend.

Is this crazy? I don’t know. My feelings about life, death, and friendship were dramatically shaped by my friend’s death. I’ve never been much of a religious person, and I’m not one now, but I always imagined that last dream to be a ‘goodbye’ of sorts. So why she’s suddenly ‘appeared’ again in my dreams baffles me. But… there is something kind of neat (?) about seeing her knit, remembering what she was knitting, and trying now to recreate it. Maybe this makes me crazy, but I feel connected somehow through the activity, as though knitting this project keeps her around. It’s amazing how much you can miss someone nine years after they’ve passed away. Who knows if we’d even be friends now if she hadn’t died (though, of course, I like to think we would).

Anyway, we’ll see where it takes me.

Canal du Midi #1

As expected, I finished the first Canal du Midi sock last night, with about a quarter’s worth of yarn left.

Some thoughts:

1. For the last time, Jennie, SWATCH YOUR SOCKS!!! This is the second time in practically as many days I have made a pair of socks that I realized mid-knit were too big. So I messed with the pattern, which I was wanting not to do because i’m trying to use these socks as technique building experiences (not that sizing down isn’t technique building, just not the kind of added bonus technique i want to throw in while learning new stitches, new heels, new shaping, etc.).

2. I wish I had continued the ribbing all the way down the heel. I think it would have a better fit. I can’t tell if it would be different if they were knit to gauge or not. I think they also might fit better after blocking (i’ve never blocked socks before, but this yarn has a lot of streatch and i think it needs it).

3. related to the post about, the square heel (is this what it’s called? when you round the heel, you pull in the stitches so that there are always 8 stitches being knit across, rather than rounding out as you ssk or p2tog) doesn’t like to stay ON my heel. Will blocking help?

4. The toe is POINTY. My big toe points right through it. It looks fine as long as i’m wearing it, but… I think I’m over the spiral toe. I prefer even decreases and then sewing it up at the end. I don’t mind doing this and I think the toe looks cleaner. But now I know.

All that said, I love it. I love this particular colorway of STR that I want to buy another skein and just knit plain socks. The way the colors alternate… it’s gorgeous. This photos do it no justice. And I particularly like the kind of tapestry-effect that is created by the combo of the pattern with the variegated yarn. Admittedly, it hides the pattern, but who cares? It looks neat.

So… It’s less than a week until the end of the month. I’ve knit three single socks in the last week. Will I have a pair finished by the end of the month? Stay tuned…

P.S. OH MY GOD. Why did I never use flickr before to download photos? Seriously. I think I’ve wasted a year of my life if you add up the time I’ve waited for blogger to get photos up. With flickr it took about two seconds.

P.P.S. I had a dream last night that I just remembered… It will make this the longest post ever if I tell it now, but it is actually knitting related… Maybe later.

jennie’s first meme

Oooh! I got tagged, I got tagged! Leah tagged me for my first meme (and if she thought she was the last person to do this… well, she was wrong). Little Jennie’s all grown up.

I think everyone in the world has done this meme, but if you haven’t, consider yourself “it”.

4 jobs I’ve had:
1. Chocolate specialist (I kid you not, this was my title) at Lindt Chocolates. This sounds like a dream job, but believe me – I never wanted to eat chocolate again after working there over holidays for a year and a half. I could never get the smell out of my hair or off my clothes.
2. I worked in the Vivarium in the Biology department at UVa cleaning hamster cages. This job sucked. It sucked so much I did it really quickly and finished by lunch every day. So they taught me, just out of high school with no interest in science at all, how to do histology. An even pay off, I think.
3. I taught for two years at UPenn while doing my coursework. It’s fun to be a “college professor”. Especially when you’re only a few years older than your students. I taught World Music and Jazz History and loved it. Most of the time.
4. On again off again Bartender at my dive bar/home in West Philly – Fiume. I miss it. I miss it a lot. It was my cheers. It got me through two challenging years of grad school. It was a terrific way to make great money. And fun, to bat.

4 flims I can watch over and over:
1. the A&E version of Pride and Prejudice. I know it by heart.
2. Charade (Audrey Hepburn AND Cary Grant? Does it get any better?)
3. Cold Comfort Farm
4. When Harry Met Sally

4 tv shows I love to watch:
1. America’s Next Top Model (don’t laugh, please don’t laugh)
2. Law and Order (in order of preference: CI, regular Law and Order, and then SVU)
3. House Hunters on HGTV (though I love almost all HGTV shows, especially the ones where they take houses that don’t look that bad to begin with and then gut them and make them even nicer for a bazillion dollars)
4. Sex and the City (yeah… I know…)

4 places I’ve lived:
1. Charlottesville, Virginia
2. Vienna, Austria
3. New York City (Brooklyn, to be precise)
4. Philadelphia, PA

4 places I’ve been on holiday:
1. Antalia, Turkey
2. Bailey’s Island, Maine
3. Paris, France
4. Ocean City, New Jersey

4 websites I visit daily:
1. WHYY (I like to stream philly npr)
2. nytimes.com
3. Sundara Yarn (just to drool and make plans for future projects)
4. so many knitting blogs, it doesn’t seem fair to single any one out…

4 favorite yarns:
1. Blue Sky Alpaca (I’ve never owned any… just petted it non-stop in the yarn store)
2. Debbie Bliss Baby alpaca-silk (another love-to-pet)
3. Socks that Rock (yes… I love it, I do)
4. the silk that I bought in Memphis

I’ve turned the heel (with some ripping and reknitting) on the canal du midi sock. I keep meaning to post pictures, but then figure I’ll knit more. I’m gonna try to finish tonight, so maybe there will be a dark completion shot later. I hate to post without a photo, so…

I was supposed to out of town this weekend to hear Dwight Yoakam play in Atlanta. But my travel companion and trip-organizer had meetings all day that he couldn’t get out of (don’t feel bad Robert!), and so we didn’ go. I have been feeling a little stir-crazy lately, so yesterday, we hopped in the car and drove the two hours down to Johnson City, Tennesee. I’m a strong support of the idependent bookstore, so keep that in mind when I say that I spent the day in a Barnes and Noble yesterday and rarely has suburban mega-shopping made me so happy. It’s been a very long time (since January?) since I’ve been in a bookstore. I spent a long time picking out books for my two year old godson (I can’t wait until he’s a little older… there were so many books I wanted to get him that he’s too young for — Richard Scarry’s “What People Do All Day”, Shel Silverstein’s “Where the Sidewalk Ends”, etc.). I looked through Cultural Studies and Social Science books (because I’m a dork). I felt overwhelmed by fiction and disgusted by the sadness of their music section. And then, because a girl can’t resist, I went to the craft section and looked at knitting books. Which brings me to the picture. There was something really nice and small-world-ish about being in a Barnes and Noble in suburban Tennessee and finding a book by a fellow blogger. I didn’t buy it (tight budget – only books for the godson were bought), but took a picture to mark the moment.

Wow. It’s kind of a blurry picture. I blame it on the coffee.

Personal growth

I’m a selfish person. Ask my parents. I like to do things for me and I like to get my way. My friends in college used to joke that I thought I was the center of the universe (I’m not quite that selfish) and once, in the lobby of a hotel, my friend Jonthan rotated like a star around my sun to illustrate that fact to his wife and my friend Jennifer. Yep. Sometimes, I let what I want get in the way of what other people want. Now, I think this selfishness has gotten better as I’ve gotten older. I’d like to think of myself as more thoughtful, a much better listener (this I know to be true, actually), a better friend, more giving. But this year is the year to beat all years — because this year, knitting made me a less selfish person. Why?

Because I love knitting for other people. I don’t know what it is… I love making things for friends. I love giving away knitted things. I love buying yarn with the intention of sending it, miraculously transformed, to someone else. There are actually very few things I have knit for myself. I woke up this morning, started reading yarn blogs, and started planning yarn to buy for friends when I’m allowed to buy yarn again. I don’t know why I feel this way… Maybe it’s because nothing really lives up to my expectations and I can only see the flaws in it? Or maybe, and this comes as a shock even to me, it’s because I love the process more than the actual product (except, maybe, with these Canal du Midi socks — progress photos to come later because the ones I just hastily snapped against my keyboard computer stink and it’s too cold to go outside in my pjs). I can’t wait until April. I have two gift designs in my head that I’m dying to buy yarn for… at as a treat to myself (and the gift recipient), I’m going to buy the yarn for that project from Sundara. Because I’m dying to try what everone else loves (did I mention I’m a follower too?)

Thank you all for your posts and thoughts and comments. I really appreciate it. I’m trying to learn how to make it so I can respond to posts via e-mail with out having to look up the poster’s e-mail address and then type it into my gmail account, etc. etc. There must be an easier way… other people do it. And I have responses to everyone!

So… the sun shines yet again, despite the rain and snow and blackness we had yesterday. I have three rows of canal du midi to rip out, six to knit, and then I’m onto the heel flap (and I have the disturbing thought that I might need a second skein of STR to finish these, making them the most expensive socks of all time… i’m keeping my fingers crossed).

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

Four things made me very happy this morning. They are:

1. Sun. The sun is shining for the second day in a row, and although it is still pretty cold out, there is the hint of spring in the air.

2. Coffee.

Coffee always makes me happy (what does it say about me that sometimes, when I drink my morning cup, I feel a sensation akin to love for my coffee?), but it makes me particularly happy to drink it out of my favorite coffee mug. The Green Line was the cafe across the street from my house when I lived in West Philly. My roomate worked there. My friends ‘lived’ there. I knew the people who owned it. It was the quintessential ‘neighborhood hang out.’ Now, I love living in Virginia. I’m very happy here. But sometimes, I miss the city so much, it hurts. The Green Line is one of the things I miss the most.

3. Canal du Midi socks, in STR Marbles (see how much the ball of yarn looks like a marble? I LOVE this!).

Ok, so maybe I’ve fallen in love again with variegated yarn. Because this stuff is lovely, and as far as I can tell, it’s not going to obscure the pattern (fingers crossed). I also have been reminided that I really do prefer knitting on dpns over magic loop. I have a beautiful STR jaywalker on the needle right now that i just can’t bring myself to work on because I don’t like doing magic loop… dpn socks seem to fly off the needle for me (or at least the first one does… i’m treading dangerous terretory starting a new sock when I haven’t finished the mate to yesterday’s blue sock).

4. This. I love knitblog love. Theresa totally made my day.

I hope you all have a day that is as good as today promises to be.

P.S. some time, somewhere that I can no longer find, someone posted an alternative to blogger for downloading pictures onto this site. I have been having a b**ch of a time getting photos onto here the last two days. Suggestions?

Lots and lots of Blue Sock(s)

So I finished my first Yukon sock. It became a good technique-learning sock and I’m really pleased with the results (except that it’s a little large…)

I was really careful in the construction of this sock and I think it is the first sock I’ve ever made where there are no mistakes (did I just jinx myself?). I learned some stuff too — I learned to pick up the front half of the chain stitch instead of the whole stitch when picking up along the heel flap. If you knit the front half through the back of the loop, you don’t get those annoying little holes all along the heel flat.

This is also the first time I’ve shaped the toe by even spacing the decreases at the end of each needle, rather than at the end of needles 1 and 3 and the beginning of needles 2 and 4 (is there a name for this kind of toe shaping?).

I’m not crazy about the yarn. I think I’m tired of variegated yarn, or at least yarn with such large color changes. I want to make patterned socks, and this yarn fails. I began this sock as the Conwy sock from Knitting on the Road. You can see where I began the pattern at the top of the sock, and the fact that the yarn completely obscures all detail. I just shifted into a nice rib and made the sock, and again, it’s a perfectly serviceable sock. But… I think I’m done for a while with variegated sock yarn (at least, I’m not buying any more of it… I still have several skeins in my stash I’ll probably use to make similarly ‘boring’ and yet serviceable and tecnique-enhancing socks). Eunny made a nice point of variation, and while I love the color combos in variegated yarn, and find myself drawn to sharp color contrasts in yarn-in-a-hank, I’m never as pleased when I see it knit up. The distraction if it now is too much… it’s time to grow up and embrace solids

I also need to get size 0 needes. I used US 1 for these and they knit big. I’d like a denser fabric with this yarn.

P.S. I hate blogger. It took me all day to post this. grrr…

spring?

Hmmm… did someone say it was supposed to be spring? Because Appalachia clearly didn’t get the message.

At least I got a chance to enjoy the outdoors this weekend, before the snow came in. I went hiking on Saturday with some folks from Appalshop and some folks visiting from NYU/Tisch out to a waterfall (the first waterfall of it’s size I’ve ever seen). It just felt so good to get outdoors… it’s amazing how close to nature I am here, and yet I have to drive forty-five minutes to go hiking. I walked more living in the city than I do now. Oh well…

As for knitting, I’ve been ploughing along on socks. I got the Knitting on the Road book in the mail, and after a lot of time sitting on the couch yesterday, knitting and ripping and knitting and ripping, I learned that while it is fun to have brightly colored yarn (i love bright colors), variegated yarn is a waste for interesting sock patterns. I need to invest (what’s that? an excuse to buy more yarn?) in some solid color sock yarn… or something with a very subtle variation… Koigu, here I come! First, I started the Canal du Midi socks in Knitpicks Hawaii (in honor of my finished abstract and my wishful and hopefull thoughts that it will be accepted so I can go to Hawaii — though who knew Hawaii was so pink? Wish yellow replaced the pink in this yarn). It took me about two hours to cast on, what with learning the whole double cast-on thing and then casting on too tightly and struggling to knit the stitches. Then, I realized that you couldn’t seen the pattern at all, what with all the striping of the yarn. So I took this (fairly ineffectual) photo and ripped it out.

Then I started the Conwy socks in Yukon, hoping the stripe pattern wouldn’t be so prominent. No such luck. But I love the k1 p1 k3 p1 ribbing and the texture of the fabric, so I kept what I had — using five pattern repeats as a border and just ribbing the rest. I’m gonna make these knee socks.

I also finished one of the Batman Jaywalkers and cast on for the second (pardon the scrappiness of these photos — there’s no light today and I just popped photos so i could post. but — notice how all of my knitting is ‘posing’ today on the awesome ‘rustic’ kitty tower my dad made for Hank and Phoebe. My dad makes furniture of the ‘rustic Adirondak’ variety — from found sticks and branches. The cats took to the tower right away… it’s their favorite place, especially when it snows!).

finished!

So i finished that abstract last night, an hour before the deadline, and honestly i think i feel pretty good about it. i don’t expect it to be accepted — when you write about appalachian music and coal mining, it’s hard to feel good about getting accepted to a conference taking place in hawaii with an emphasis on pacific island and southeast asian themes, but… what the hell? if i get accepted, i have a good excuse to go to hawaii (and probably some assistance to pay for it). besides, i’m supposed to go on the job market next fall, and the annual conference is the best way to do it. i think i just feel good about sitting down and actually pulling my thoughts together in a formal way for the first time since i moved here. i’m on to something… not sure what it is yet, but it made me feel good about my work. and everyone needs that once and a while.

off to do more research. knitting info to be posted later.

priorities?

I ask you, how long should it take to write 250 words? Half and hour? An hour? 250 words is not much. It’s one paragraph, half a page, maybe. It has taken me days, and still I have nothing to show for it. Hours of staring at my computer, thinking while driving, while showering, while sleeping… stewing on it while hanging out with friends, while knitting (or not knitting), while cooking… and still, I have nothing to show for it except pages of scrappy notes and a rapidly approaching deadline. It is surprisingly challenging to write an abstract for a paper that deals with research you are still in the process of doing. I feel like I can’t get enough distance to analyze it. I’m frustrated. T minus four hours and counting…

All of that said, I’m wasting time now re-considering my knitting priorities. First, a show of progress:

Jaywalkers for Jennie, in STR “Fire on the Mountain”

Orangina, rumbled, but oh so pretty.

I am definitely still on a yarn diet, partially out of need (no money and not a lot of space) and partially for the challenge (it’s interesting to think of what I can make with what I have, rather than running around buying yarn for new projects). That said, Theresa points out that 64 skeins is a pretty modest stash. It is – and it’s fun to have yarn to look at, to touch, to be inspired by. So, I have reconsidered my priorities. What needs to happen is a little finishing. I need to get all of these projects (like Jaywalkers #3 and 4) off the needles so that some of the stuff I have stewing in my mind can be knit. I still am not allowed to buy yarn until May, but I have enough in progress to make that feasible. And in the meantime, I can use some of my stash yarn to work on technique, which is sorely needed.

I’ve also set a goal to spend some time thinking and, more specifically, writing about knitting. I used to love to write, and sometimes I think graduate school beat that love right out of me. Writing became something utilitarian, something that needed to be done to meet a deadline and definitely not something that I connected to beauty and creativity. It is important to me to write a dissertation that is beautiful as well as informative, and though my dissertation has virtually nothing to do with knitting, I think if I can remember my love of writing though outlets not related to my dissertation, it will inspire me to write more creatively in my dissertation. Hopefully, this will have the bonus result of some posts that are better written than my usual off-the-top-of-the-head ranting.